I've lost track of any consistency I had with blogging or keeping up with social media over the past two weeks. Oops. Another reason why I shouldn't quit my day job for this right? Ha.
I've been thinking a lot about the conflicting feelings I've had - with my personal life and with running in general. There have been a lot of surprising dichotomies this week and one that's have been weighing me down lately has been the contrast between recovery (from Around the Bay) and gearing up with training (for Mississauga 1/2). I've been struggling with taking it easy, vs. stepping up my game and pushing the limits of my comfort zone once again. Just a few days after ATB, I found myself hitting at least 1 sub-5:00 min/km pace and seeing these numbers have made my confidence soar and make me want to run faster and train better. Some days, I have to remind myself to slow down, give my muscles and cardiovascular system the rest they need so I don't crash and burn, per se. Within training runs, I've been coping with inherent dichotomies that come with running --- tempo pace vs. long slow distance pace; social runs vs. running in solitude; uphill strides vs. downhill gallops; conscious reflection vs. tuning out my thoughts; conserving energy vs. maxing out at the finish; running away from something vs. running towards something else. Of course, I can draw parallels from these 'dichotomies' or seemingly incompatible contrasts into my personal life. Over the past few weeks or so, I've struggled with running away from something vs. running towards something else. Harming vs. healing. Restraining vs. Indulging. Settling vs. Flourishing. Motivation vs. Resignation. Disparage vs. self-care. Ego vs. conscience. I could go on and on and on. It goes to show that not all contrasts are black-and-white; some disparities clash while some can coexist. And this week, I've been working to accept that. ~~~ What else is new?I took up a new hobby! I joined my work dragon boat team and we started weekly pool practices at a local canoe club. Next month, we increase practice to twice a week - making our way towards lake practice. My first practices so far have been both awkward and exciting (another dichotomy there?). It takes a great deal of pre-positive self-talk for me to go in a crowd full of (professional) strangers and try to conquer a whole new skillset. I've only ever paddled a canoe before, lol! So I've been learning a lot - namely, staying in the A-frame paddling position, working on my back muscles vs. using my arms to compensate, and the importance of staying in tempo with my team. I've also been playing an insane amount of beach and court volleyball. What can I say? The unexpected love/friendship from my teams have been overwhelming (or pleasantly surprising). Selena organized a drop-in on my lieu day from work and me + other beach bums had the best time. Running-wise, I also finished the most challenging run of my entire life - a long-distance 22 km run, filled w/ steep inclines along the escarpment (near Kelso Park/Rattlesnake Point). Not only was the elevation profile extremely difficult to conquer, but the rainy/windy weather was miserable, I was sleep-deprived, I really wasn't mentally nor emotionally prepared for the distance or the climbs. Damn. I felt like I was running through my own personal 7 levels of hell (see Divine Comedy hahaha). Every step after 10 km was made with fury. I'm pretty sure I had an anxiety/sobbing attack as my heart raced through one of the inclines. Poor Amar had to listen to me curse the route and running altogether (sorry and thanks for your patience!!). It was pure mental and emotional anguish, having to run through the many hills and surrounding beautiful homesteads (and farm animals) that day. I can't even say that I'm proud of finishing it because that would mean there was some sort of happy "runner's high" ending. There wasn't. I hated it. Guts and grit? Maybe. Maybe I'll come to appreciate it someday, but it's been two days and I'm still traumatized. :P Thanks/no thanks, Justin! I should also commemorate the spring potluck (see above picture). It was so much fun catching up with local members of the running community, savouring all sorts of homemade dishes, and playing what I deemed the shitshow Jeopardy! Shoutout to 19:27 and D'oh! team. What I learned that day that basically you can win points with "it depends". I'm too lazy to organize the pictures throughout the blog entry, so here's a hodge-podge of pictures and whatnot. I'll caption thoughts underneath. Some of the nicer pics are from Brigida/Monika :) Thanks for the premium blog content, lol!
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